On the way home from work we were discussing
that we should convince Klári to change certain things. It is impossible that
she has been sitting in the office for half a year now and she still cannot do
anything on her own. She is afraid to make decisions alone. She even picks up
the phone only reluctantly. Finally she should do something!
Nevertheless, she has time to have a
coffee every half an hour. She should pull herself together. She should follow
the rhythm. She should change her attitude. But this is just how Klári is – as
we finally acknowledge.
My sister does not care about anything.
She should change it, it cannot go on like this. She stopped playing basketball
and she does not go swimming anymore either. She is bored with it. What will
this child be? She is watching TV all day long. She does not even leave the
apartment. She should start doing something! At least she would be watching the
English language channels. She should realize what she is doing! It cannot go
on like this. Something has to be done here.
These monologues sound similar, right?
We all heard these things before, even more most of us tend to see things
clearly: how others should do certain things and what and when they should
change. As an outsider it is obvious to us when people around us make mistakes
and most of us seem to be very wise when it comes to organizing other people's
lives.
But are we so smart when it comes to our
own fights?
Let's suppose that I have a dream: I
would like to learn to play the drums but I have not started it yet. I would
not have time for it. I would like to go swimming again. But I am always so
tired! It would be nice to find a new job. But at the moment I do not have time
to go to job interviews. When it is about us we are immediately much more
forgiving and understanding.
And how good we are when it comes to
daydreaming! But are we conscious enough to turn our dreams into reality? And
are we self-consistent enough to do something every day in order to achieve our
dreams? How do we recognize a good aim at all?
Many people are afraid to move towards
their dreams as it means change. Subconsciously we are all afraid of change as
it means something new, something unstable. We can find ourselves in new,
unfamiliar situations where we cannot rely on our routines and quite often we
also have to give up our comfort. Change is like walking into a shady, strange
room. It is like to start walking at an unknown place without a map.
It is worth learning about and dealing
with our fear consciously. It is worth thinking about it: I am afraid. But what
do I want to do about this fear? Do I let it prevent me from reaching my
objectives? Or do I overcome this, I make myself aware of the fact that I am
scared but I start off anyway?
Do I see change as a fearsome challenge
or an exciting opportunity? Is it my fear or my will that
guides me?
How do I deal with change?
